It’s not the nicest thing to hear about on a Friday evening... But it happened. I’m ok, it was not in my family (mind you, mine have managed to provide us with a "date" when she will die... bless her... But that’s another story).
Well, it was another leaving "do" with Chris, at "City Pride" - It was only last week that I was there for someone else, but well... Chris and me were fine, happy, being told that we look good together, I have a feeling that his friends like me... Anyway, he had taken a call, so I stayed and chatted to his friends, and though nothing of it - he’s brother Kevin calls a lot (Looking forward to meeting him). And he does talk a lot... But as time when, I did start to wonder what was up - so off to toilet and then find him.
His mother had dies in a car crash. From what he has told me about her, she was a remarkable woman, and I am really quite sad that I will not meet her.
Also feel hopeless - I know that I have only been with him for nearly 7 weeks, but I think I have feelings for him. I am sure that I do. I’m not sure if its love - But it’s something, and at the moment, that feeling is making me feel hopeless. Chris is now in Scotland, and its nearly 6am. I bet he is in a bed, cuddled up to a pillow. A confession he made to me the other night, that when we are apart, that’s how he sleeps. I did not admit this to him, but I did the same. But I also have his top with me. I left it at his on Saturday morning, I needed other clothes, and my bag was too small. But that’s how I sleep when he is not with me... But, I’m not sure a pillow would be enough for him at the moment. I just want to be with him, I can’t stand to hear him cry on the phone, I can’t hold him. I’m not a bear cub for nothing, and he loves his bear hugs.
I care emseley for him. Maybe I do love him, but that’s really something that will not be spoken about now with him, just in case he dosent not feel the same, it would be too much for him.
